Doing my studies and reading a lot on dog behaviour I am finding the idea of ‘choice’ in training extremely important. This is especially true when talking about ‘connection’, ‘bond’ or however you want to call it. Some trainers argue it is necessary to get the dog to do what you want so you can reward, by either prompting, luring, or physically turning their head.
I think this is actually not the case. I want the dog to make a choice. I will obviously set the scene that the dog has every chance of making the desired choice but I do not think you can ‘make’ them connect with you. It has to be a choice. It is the same as you cannot make anyone love you. They might respect you and they might even do what you tell them but a real connection is much more than that.
Real connection means the dog engages with you even when there are a lot of distractions around, if they get scared or if they feel insecure. My main aim is that the dog looks to me for fun, reassurance or direction, depending on the situation.
If you have to prompt or physically force them then it is not conducive to connection, just a trained behaviour. Connection should be a state of mind.
But how do you get that connection? I think, like for the dog, it has to be a ‘state of mind’ from the owner’s or trainer’s side. Part of it is obviously positive reinforcement training, part is doing a lot of fun and pleasant things together, trust and part of it is just that ‘crazy little thing called love’.
One thing that destroys all of this is the use of punishment. Punishment destroys trust and to quote another song this breach of trust might be ‘easy to forgive, harder to forget’.